2011 Commitments to Myself

Hello all. So I know I have not updated in quite a while. But I wanted to put my 2011 commitments out there for everyone to see so that you all can help me.

I wise woman said that one should not make resolutions but commitments to onself. Resolutions are made to be broken, but commitments are goals that stay strong.

So here are mine.

Work towards a healthier me:
-get to my weight loss goal of 150 pounds and maintain it
-learn more about my bipolar disorder and things I can do to balance myself
-learn more about yoga and meditation
-get on a exercise routine

Focus on myself
-work on taking care of myself first. I cant take care of others if I dont take care of myself first. I have to be selfish for once.
-work on becoming more confident in my own skin.
-to remember that i only have this one life and one body and I am worth taking care of myself
-learn to say NO

Learn to cook new and healthier things
-try new foods and learn to cook them
-learn to cook the foods I already know in a healthier way

Money Management
-Spending: need vs wants
-Savings- how to put money back and learning new ways to save
-speak to someone to help learn more on money management

Do something this year that I would never thought I would ever do
-not sure what that is yet

Travel
-visit places that I have never been
-at least 2 trips-even if just a day trip

Be ready to run/walk/run a half marathon or already have completed one by December 31

Learn new ways to make my marriage stronger


I am sure I will be adding to this list through out the year. But these are the MAJOR things in my life that I myself need to fix. I know I have to do this on my own. But some cheerleaders are always welcome!

Got a plan!

Need Your Help...Got a plan

So as most of you know my weight loss journey has not been the easiest thing that I have ever done in my lifetime. I have had MANY ups and downs along my journey. I have hit a MAJOR wall the last few weeks and I am looking for some help. I know I have motivated a few of you all and now I need that motivation from you all.

Here is my plan.

I have 7 months until my half marathon. With my nike chip I can use the half marathon training program which takes 12 weeks. So I will be starting that program in November. So from August 1st to November 15th I am challenging myself to loose 35 pounds. That will be my goal weight of 150 pounds. So that 3 ½ months.

This is where I need all of your help. I am looking for encouragement, motivation, support and basically a reality check at times. I need challenges. I sometimes loose focus of what I am really trying to do. And thats where I think I have been these last few months.

So what I am going to do is get back to the basics. Back to where I started. Back to eating like I did when I was loosing 2 pounds a week. Back to being positive and going in the right direction.

I have a workout plan, an eating plan and now I am just asking for some motivation and encouragement. Shoot me an email, a text message, a fb comment, a fb message. Anything.

Thank you all so much for the love and support that I have received so far!

Learning to Live

So I was thinking today that there is so much negativity coming from my way these last few months and i think that has a lot to do with my plateau. Once I started being positive, poof 2 pound loss. If you really think about it…positivity has to be in this journey. If not your gonna fail. You have to focus on that goal and that dream. POSITIVITY.

Helping others is my calling! Paying it forward is amazing! I wish I could help everyone. I wish I had all of the answers to everyone's question. I am trying hard to find all of the answers. I am the walking, talking living person who has done this. I may not have the experience schooling…but life wise…I am there. I have lived way more then some people who are "book smart". I had a person tell me today that they liked talking to me because I was not the typical weight loss coach. They liked talking to me because I had the experience. I have lived that life. I have had those struggles. I have had ups and downs. To hear that…makes my heart sing. Finally, someone who "gets" why I am doing this. Why I am so passionate about this. FINALLY!

So I have been looking for this song for a long time. It is the theme song to the new Jillian Michaels show. Powerful words.




Learning to Live~Beth Hart

I keep my head on straight
And my eyes wide open
I try to move forward
Wishing and hoping
I took a hold of myself
In the middle of November
Don’t you look back now
Is all I can remember

I feel like I’m leaving
Like I’m leaving home
Like the clouds are parting, and I’m not alone

[Chorus 1]
I’m learning to live
Living to learn
Starting to sing my song
Right, or wrong
Breaking away
Setting me free
Free to be, my own me
I’m learning to live

I got my vanity crisis
From my beautiful mother
I’m not gonna go there
I’m anything other
Take another deep breath now
It’s just one more hurdle
I’m breaking this line
Before it comes full circle

I feel like I’m leaving
Like I’m leaving home
Like the clouds are parting, and I’m not alone

[Chorus 2]
I’m learning to live
Living to learn
Starting to sing my song
Right, or wrong
Breaking away
Setting me free
Free to be, my own me

I found a place, where I can lay my shit down
Somewhere that I can finally be myself - be myself

[Chorus 2]
I’m learning to live
Living to learn
Starting to sing my song
Right, or wrong
Breaking away
Setting me free
Free to be, my own me

[Chorus 1]
I’m learning to live
(Living to learn)
(Starting to sing my song) living to learn
(Right, or wrong)
I’m breaking away
Setting me free
Free to be, my own me
I’m learning to live

Where did she go?

Motivational….i dunno

so I have the job of my dreams teaching people what I have done over the last year and it is going to be wonderful….BUT my exercise,food is gone….my motivation, desire, accountability is not here. Where in the world did it go. I have been on this crazy ride for the last month and a half. We are finally moved in and getting settled. I started my "commitment" to myself Tuesday. BUT what am I thinking. Where is my mind. Where is the drive I used to have? Where is the passion I had to be healthy? Where is the person who made those goals to be 150 pounds? Where is that person who promised herself she would never fail? To be honest..I dunno? I sure need a swift kick in the pants! I want to be a great example for these folks I am going to be teaching. But how am I supposed to motivate them when I cant even motivate myself!

So..what do I do? Where do I go from here? How do I find that person who I was 2 months ago?

Proud?! Not right now……

Getting back on track...finally

I can finally see the end of this tunnel. The moving tunnel. We get our things on friday and get to officially move in. I can not wait to get all my stuff and decorate my home. To finally feel at home. Thats going to be a big weight off my shoulders.

That was a segaway…weight….yes…I have fluctuated over the last month. 2 to 5 pounds. Not too bad. But starting on Monday May 31, I am going to get back on track. Back to the way we were eating and exercising. Tuesday i start work at a GYM! I finally get to pay things forward! It is going to be an honor to be able to help and workout next to others who are on this journey too. But with all that I have to get myself back to where I was to be able to help others.

Getting back on track is going to be hard. I know it is. And to be honest, I am scared. Over the last month my diet has not been the best and exercise has been…well almost non existent. So now I have to start over, reset, and get back on that journey.

Goals. Setting goals is a big part of getting back on track.
Short term
1. Start journaling again. Journaling is a big part of weight loss. To be able to write down and express feelings that you cant express to everyone.
2. Workout at least 5 days a week. I don't think I am going to go as intense as I once did. I really burned myself out and I realize that now.
3. Eat. Take my lunch to work, make menus and stick to them.
4. Weigh in once a week. Put the scale away until weigh in day.
5.Cheat day. Once a week. Give myself a day to rest and eat (in moderation)
6. Aim for a 2 pound a week loss. If I don't hit 2 pounds, it's ok. As long as I know I gave it my best
7. Drink more water!

Long term
1. Hit my goal of 150 pounds no later then December 31st.
2. Run the Disney Princess Half Marathon Feb. 2011
3. Pay it forward. Inspire and motivate others to learn and live a healthy lifestyle by example.

I will get back on track. I will be proud. I'm worth it!

Scared...

So, I am scared to death! It has finally hitting me that we are leaving missouri tomorrow! I was really excited until today. I called to confirm our tlf and they were so mean to me and told me we could not have all the cats with us there! So, obviously I started crying! BAD. I have been so stressed out these last few weeks that it just finally was the last straw and I freakin lost it. It did not help that the packers were here. I went into zombie mode. I basically stayed in the room with the cats all day. Just crying and basically out of it. Great time for everything to come to a head! So I called my best friend Becca (who is watching the cats while we are visiting family) and basically cried my heart and asked her if me and the cats could stay with her until Kenny finds a house. She said of course. She actually sounded really excited. She said that it is great that she will be able to spend more time with me. So what's going to happen is after we go to visit our families we will head back to Tennessee as planned. But instead of me heading to Florida with Kenny, he will go by himself and stay in tlf and get everything set up and the paperwork in and (cross your fingers) hopefully get approved for cats in base housing. Then I will pack up the cats and head to Florida. So He will get there May 18th and I am hoping to be there no later then May 29th. So please pray that everything goes as planned. Well everything that has been turned upside down figures itself out.

The nice thing is with kenny and my laptops we both have webcams. So we will be able to talk on the phone and webcam. So that will be good.

So please everyone reading this say a little prayer for my family, and me to quit stressing and my anxiety go down.

Stuck...

So I am officially STUCK. I have hit a plateau, a mental wall and just a flat out burn out. I know what most of you are thinking...I told ya so! I know. I have been working so hard lately, I had a routine when I was working. I scheduled everything. Now I have not been working, I am going out of my mind. My ocd is not kicking in. Plus with this move, I am stressing out very bad. Seems like I am the only one who is stressing. But hey, that is just how I am. The movers and packers come to pack on Monday and they move stuff tuesday and we are out of Missouri wednesday. Part of me just wants to say ehhh just take this week off. The other part of me wants to go go go to get the stress to go away. I know I will not get to work out wednesday and thats cool. But I am really hoping to get to the gym on thursday. I want to look my absolute best when I go home to see my family. My goal was to be 180 pounds. Thats 70 pounds down. But honestly with my stress level and lack of work ethic...I dont think I will get there. My heart says it is ok, but my ocd in my head says that is a failure. I keep saying look how far you have come. But, my stubbornness is just going nuts! Dang bipolar!

So I have a game plan for tomorrow (sunday) and monday after the movers leave and I think tuesday after the movers leave. But we shall see. I just am MENTALLY out to pasture. I need to get my head back in the game. I want to start another challenge with myself. But I dunno. We will see.